Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
