Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
