I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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