im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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