Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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