He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
