i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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