you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
