How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
