Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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