So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
so much tequila, so little girl.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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