we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
