I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
