you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
