did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
