Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
