My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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