its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
