Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
