weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
