dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
