Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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