these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
