perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
