Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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