The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
