I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
