I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
