sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
