I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
