The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize