I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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