What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
