I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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