Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My balls are so social today.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
