Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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