My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
