shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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