I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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