Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
