Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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