what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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