HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Text me some of your sweat
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
