i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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