Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
