it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
