dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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