Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
