p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
