Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry BushrodBarbie hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much

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(519): View more from Ontario

he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes

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(443): View more from Maryland

Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?

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(530): View more from California

I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"

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(773): View more from Illinois

Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just high enough for therapy.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.

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(518): View more from New York

Andddddd I'm drunk

(240): View more from Maryland

Andddddd it's Tuesday

(518): View more from New York

That's your opinion.

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