I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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