What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize