She's JV to your varsity
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize