He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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