Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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