like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
