we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
